Friday, May 22, 2009

DO YOU HAVE A “SHY” CHILD?


Parents have to accept that there are really some that is borne to be shy, but remember also that not because someone is quiet it necessarily pertains to shyness. And we don’t really have to worry about it unless it’s becoming a problem at school and social interactions.

A point to consider…people (children included) doesn’t like to be reminded of their weaknesses, so do not rub salt into the wound! Instead, we praise them when they are overcoming that weakness. For instance, if your child is “unusually” socializing, compliment that fact. Encourage them to share with you what they feel in those different situations. Open circumstances for them to attempt socializations and involvement by letting them spend time with people they are comfortable to be with. Invite over some of her friends, or let your child be included in gatherings for this will help build self-esteem. We cannot solve it overnight, and so be patient with the developments. Do not overdo right away, instead start with a small group of acquaintance, 2 or 3, and slowly lead into larger ones. Stand by them and let them adjust knowing you are in full support.. Do not force them into a situation.
It is also a good idea to encourage them to try new activities and hobbies. This will give her more topics to talk about, plus a wider scope of social contact who have common interests as hers.

Bear in mind that YOU are their heroes; and that they will learn through you. It goes without saying then that you need to be of “the greatest example”. They will try what they see you do because they believe it to be harmless. They also pick up silent signals like nervousness perceiving it as something “bad”. Explain that you understand what she feels and that there will also come a time that she will experience being shy, nervous or scared…just as you did, and enlighten her of how you were able to overcome it. Make her understand that it is normal, that being shy is not a flaw to be ashamed of.
Most of the time, the child simply needs rationalization and encouragement.

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